30 Oct, 2020 Your Child Coming Out: How to Respond Right

by Dr. Kathryn Knight

It’s a question a lot of parents struggle with.

Parents face tough situations every day but no one is prepared when their child makes a pronouncement about joining the LGBTQ culture. Before you overreact – or even react – consider how to biblically respond to your young person who announces they are gay. You are their best hope for realizing that their decision is not biblical and will lead to difficult or destructive outcomes.

Prayer

• Before you say anything, pray. Pray for wisdom from God to give you the right words to say. Pray that your child will see that you love them and only want what is best for them.

Response

• When you react instead of responding, Satan wins. If you react angrily or blow up or cut off communication, your child may see this as the reason why they should not believe the God of the Bible. You must respond rightly if your child says they are homosexual.
• Speak the truth from the Bible. You as a Christian know God does not want your child to choose this lifestyle.  God clearly states that we will each be held accountable for our conduct on earth (Hebrews 9:27). He condemns homosexuality from cover to cover in the Bible. Research what the Bible really says and do not let liberal Bible “experts” tell you that the Bible says sexual sin is okay. Some other resources to help you: Focus on the Family website (https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/understanding-homosexuality/) has links and helps for parents and families. American Family Association’s documentary In His Image shows how homosexuality is unbiblical (https://www.inhisimage.movie). Jackie Hill-Perry has a personal testimony of leaving the homosexual lifestyle (https://www.youtube.com/user/MyNameIsJackieHill).

Empathy 

• Remind your child that you love them. A parent must show unconditional love to a child making bad decisions. Talk to them about what the Bible says about God’s love. Assure them that you still love them. Respond carefully when they talk to you about being gay; respect them even if you do not agree with them.
• Communicate. Talk to them about their decision, but also talk to them about other parts of their lives. Talk about what God is doing in your life, what He’s teaching you, what you’ve been studying in the Bible. But be careful to not brow-beat them with the Bible. Offer to pray for them. Call them often. Send little gifts. Keep communication open and demonstrate love. You’ve known them their whole life. Now is not the time to quit talking.

Standing Firm

• Do not enable nor embrace sinful behavior. Tell them what the Bible says about homosexuality (and every other sexual sin). It is against the person’s own body. Tell your child that you love them, but that you cannot agree with them in their choice. Do not cut them off, but do not accept their lifestyle nor agree that it’s just another choice when your child says they are gay. True love warns people about sin because it will harm them. Speak Truth to your child if they say they are gay. The Bible tells us to warn others whom we see engaged in sin (see Ephesians 4:15, Galatians 6:1, Jude 23, and James 5:19-20 for starters).
• Protect your family. You must decide how you will address this, especially if there are other younger siblings. Be prepared to make hard decisions to protect your younger kids while still modeling a love for the one who has chosen homosexuality. Do not let your other children think it is normal, that it is just another choice. ALWAYS show them what the Bible says. And encourage them to pray for big brother or sister (and their new friends) to come to know Jesus personally.

The Bottom Line:

The LGBTQ lifestyle is hijacking folks across America and around the world. It is trendy to turn from the gospel of Christ to embrace a progressive gospel where they choose the rules. It may sound nice and “tolerant” to accept their new lifestyle and not bring up God’s Word. But God does not tolerate sin. He may allow us to live in sin for a time, but we will pay the consequences in this life or we will answer to Him after we die. 

Remind your young person who chooses a sinful lifestyle that you love them and want the best for them. Ask God to help you respond rightly (and not react) if your kid says they are homosexual. Choose instead to be the conduit through which Jesus Christ can be revealed to them. 

Dr. Kathryn Knight is a 20+ year homeschool veteran who has graduated with three of her five children.

Kathryn loves to find creative ways to make learning hands-on so brain synapses connect and her kids enjoy school and remember what they’ve learned.

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