14 Feb, 2021 What Is The Point Of Marriage?
by Bethany Dumbleton
We all have our own ideas about marriage…
what it’s supposed to be about and what it will look like.
Young girls grow up watching movies about finding their perfect other half and dream about their wedding day and building a family. Young men think about what kind of career they will have and how they will provide for their future wives and children. And later in life, once we think we have found that person, we start taking steps to make all of our expectations into a reality. But, do we really even know what the point of marriage is?
This may come as a shock to many, but the main goal in marriage is to honor God. My newlywed sister, Hannah, and her husband, Hans, are no exception. It’s the same for everyone who enters the covenant of marriage. I had the honor of sharing this message at their wedding reception in November. The main goal in marriage is not primarily about making your spouse happy or creating a Pinterest perfect life. All things in life, including our marriages, are ultimately for the Glory of God. Why?
6 Thus says the Lord, the King of Israel
and his Redeemer, the Lord of hosts:
“I am the first and I am the last;
besides me there is no god.
7 Who is like me? Let him proclaim it.[a]
Let him declare and set it before me,
since I appointed an ancient people.
Let them declare what is to come, and what will happen.
8 Fear not, nor be afraid;
have I not told you from of old and declared it?
And you are my witnesses!
Is there a God besides me?
There is no Rock; I know not any.” Isaiah 44:6-8
The Lord our God is Holy. He is to be feared. He is to be worshipped and glorified and He is the only one who has any right to call for His name to be exalted. Not only has he ordained all things, including this marriage, but He is also the one who sustains all things. He has created it all, and He holds the power to destroy it all. First and foremost, the point of marriage is the same as everything else in life, to honor God.
Become like Christ
Another point of marriage I shared at the wedding is that we are to become like Christ. Christ was a humble servant. He was not selfish and He was not arrogant. Jesus did not seek to serve Himself, but He sought to serve His Father. The Son of God washed the feet of his disciples. He focused on the needs of others. He was and still is, the ultimate picture of humility. God used Christ as an example of a groom and the church as a bride.
He designed earthly marriage between us to serve as a picture of the gospel. Christ, the groom, laid down his life for his bride. The bride, in turn, loves the groom and devotes her life to Him. Hans is to lay down his life for my sister. This is humility and this is a major factor in marriage. The Lord calls us to live out the gospel in our marriages, forsaking our own wants and desires and dreams for the sake of our spouse. Laying everything down, even when we feel justified in our feelings. It isn’t about being right, it’s about being like Christ.
Francis Chan said in his book, You and Me Forever,
“Arguments escalate when we want to be right more than we want to be CHRIST. It’s easy to get blinded in the heat of disagreement. Soon, all we want is to win. Even if victory requires sin. The one who wins the argument is usually the one who acts LESS like Christ.”
In other words, we have to be more concerned with being like Christ than we are about being “right” if we want our marriage to accomplish what God created it to accomplish.
What did He want it to accomplish?
The end goal is always more of God. When our marriages reflect the gospel, people will come to find Christ. They will find eternal life. Our relationship with Christ has to become our ultimate priority. My sister must keep Christ central, as Hans must do the same. Our devotion to Christ comes before everything else. When that happens our mind is focused on God, Christ, and the gospel. We will in turn live that out for others to see. He wanted our marriage to create an opportunity for personal sanctification and a witness to the world of what He has done for us and who He is.
Christ is central, and he must remain there. At the end of my life, I want to be able to say I have done everything I can to keep it that way. The point of marriage is to help your spouse enter the gates of Heaven and hear the words, “Well done my good and faithful servant.“
I believe with my whole heart that in order for me to honor God and his purpose in marriage I must share with you this: Christ lay down his life for you so that you may spend eternity with the Holy God who created all and sustains all. Let the picture of marriage show you the glory of God and bring us all to the realization that we need Him.
He is calling out for You. So, if you do not know without a doubt that Jesus Christ is your Savior and Lord and that your eternal destination is to be worshipping at the foot of His glorious throne, let today be the day.
That is the point of marriage.
“Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”
1 Peter 4:8 ESV
Bethany Dumbleton is the Chief Operations Officer for Counter Culture mom. She is first and foremost a devoted follower of Jesus Christ.
Her husband and two children are her main ministry which overflows into her life ministry. She knows that our children follow our example. She strives to help parents grow in Christ, so they may shepherd their children biblically.
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