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first time I had sex

The First Time I Had Sex

Teasing, sneers, Hollywood & Britney Spears didn’t cause me to lose my virginity. The first time I had sex was on my wedding night. You can do the same!

Now that I have your attention…

The first time I had sex was on my wedding night when I was 29 years and 51 weeks old…but who’s counting. I actually asked Luke if he’d mind waiting a week to get some action so I could write a book entitled “30-year-old virgin.” He wasn’t havin’ it. In fact he flung a piece of our wedding cake on a plate, gently grabbed my arm and ushered me into our car. He was ready to hit the hotel. Ha! I was so glad I waited all those years, but it was not easy. Looking back, there were several times I could have been forced to have sex or had it or for the wrong reasons.

Up until my early 20’s I was adamant about NOT having sex until marriage. It wasn’t because of my parents’ warnings, my youth pastor’s advice or what I heard from the pulpit at church every Sunday that caused me to remain a virgin. It was the pact I made with God when I was 10 years old. One afternoon I wrote in my journal and asked God to not return to Earth until I got married and had sex (because I knew I couldn’t have sex in heaven). What in the world was I thinking at the age of 10? Regardless, my virginity was something I promised I would cherish and give as a gift to only one person – my husband. Little did I know I would wait 19 years. Some teasing in high school, major pressure from the media and being immersed in the Hollywood lifestyle for over a decade made it hard to follow through with my promise, but by God’s grace I made it to the altar.

first time I had sex

Luke & Tina in the Wisconsin Bride Magazine. Click on photo for full article.

There were, however, some close calls. One night while walking on the Atlantic Boardwalk in Newark, New Jersey, my wish was almost demolished. A friend flew me to the east coast to model pageant dresses for the Miss America judges. During this time, I was going through a tough break up with someone I thought was “the one.” I was wrestling with God for several weeks about my frustration with guys who would say they would “wait” but when they realized I was serious about the “no sex” thing, they would leave me at the curb. I didn’t date many guys, because I really loved my single fly-around-the-world lifestyle, but after this breakup – I was over it. I told God as I was walking down the boardwalk that night that I was going to find a dance club, pick out the hottest guy in the crowd and just “do it” to get it over with!

God obviously heard me, because moments later, an old man with a long white beard, wearing brown burlap-looking clothes and sandals appeared about 20 feet behind me. Even though his face was not visible under his hood, he started to shout to me above the noise of the crowd, that I had promised I would wait until my wedding night to have sex. He said I should honor God and not give up. I turned around twice and told him I would keep my pact with God. I said, “I promise, I’ll wait. I promise I won’t have sex until my wedding night!” I took two more steps forward in my flashy high heels in the middle of this crowded street and had a minor heart attack. How in the world did this old man know what I was going through and telling God moments before?

Sure enough, when I quickly turned around the third time – he was gone. I know God sent an angel that night to let me know he understood my pain, frustration, fear, anger and was there to encourage me to keep on the right path and trust that He had my best interests at heart. Four years later, Luke entered the scene and God definitely knew what was best for me. I will cherish this pivotal moment for the rest of my life.

The following Rebecca St. James video “Wait for Me” is a great reminder of why I wanted to save myself for marriage. I played it for years at hundreds of youth events. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

[youtube id=”ooAi3KJ5I-s”]

God will bring the right person in His perfect timing. God wants you to trust Him and focus on serving Him now, so you’ll meet your best friend while you’re serving the Lord. How cool is that? And if you’ve already been sexually active, God forgives, forgets and that is NOT who you are as a person. Your past is not your identity. You can make better choices starting at this very moment.

Question: How has God miraculously spoken to you? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

If you’d like to view our wedding day photos, you can click here.


  • Randy Grathen
    Posted at 20:36h, 13 March Reply

    Wow Tina. I can only imagine what kind of pressure you were under for those ten years. Our society is so over-sexed in everything we see and hear it’s a wonder anyone can stand up to the relentless onslaught. Isn’t it just like God to reassure you in a way only He could. A warning and reassurance from a guy in burlap and a white beard – a most unlikely source. It shows that God also has a sense of humor. Finally, congratulations to you for keeping your promise. God honors a promise keeper.

    • Tina
      Posted at 12:48h, 04 April Reply

      Thanks Randy!

      I literally first thought…is that Noah? Moses? It was so wild. Thank you for your encouragement!

  • Yvonne B Pinkas
    Posted at 14:15h, 16 March Reply

    Hi Tina,

    So true and I thank the Lord daily for saving me and keeping me for my husband. You are right it was not easy but God came through when I needed Him the most. He spoke to me in a dream, He even gave me a picture of my husband four years before meeting him and He clearly told me to guard my heart and wait. It has been worth it! May the Lord bless you as you minister to so many young people, His word will not return to Him void but will accomplish that which He has sent it to. From your friend in Zimbabwe, Yvonne 🙂

    • Tina
      Posted at 21:36h, 22 March Reply

      How ARE YOU!!?? What a sweet surprise to hear from you! I miss you! What a neat story about God giving you a vision in a dream! So when you saw your man for the first time, did you know it was him from the dream? Did you tell him soon after you met him? How did all of that transpire! What a neat story!

  • Ryan
    Posted at 17:23h, 02 August Reply

    Hi Mrs. Griffin,

    Back a few years ago you came to the Michigan Youth Gathering at Mackinac Island and spoke, and I’ve followed your newsletter ever since. I remember this story quite clearly since we were the first group of kids you ever told it to. It was quite a cool moment. But I was wondering if I could talk to you and get your advice about some personal things in my life right now. Being a high school senior (graduating in 3 months yay!) is really tough in these times and I was hoping to get some advice as to what to do in some things. I’ve really never reached out to anybody about these problems but I figured that if there was anyone to talk to, it would be you. So, if you don’t want to get into this or anything, considering we don’t know each other and I’ve only seen you speak once, I completely understand. But if you want to, please respond, I could use a little bit of help.

    Thank you, Ryan

    • Tina
      Posted at 19:56h, 25 September Reply

      Thank you for reaching out and I sent you a personal message 🙂 Keep sharing truth and seeking to do the right thing! It means so much to me that you are reaching out and wanting to be a better version of yourself! We all need help in some areas of our life! Go getem!

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