05 Oct, 2014 Facebook – Love It or Leave It?
Is Facebook causing people to feel depressed and rejected or have a low self esteem? Let’s use social media to educate and encourage!
Last week I got a text from a friend who said, “I erased by Facebook account.” When I asked her why, she said that when she shared her views on her wall a huge fight would break out. People were blasting each other with hateful comments because it didn’t line up with their own views. I knew exactly what she was talking about and it got me thinking….Should I too say goodbye to Facebook?
Like with any technology these days, we can use it for good or for evil. We can edify and educate or we can be hateful and mean. Through Facebook, I’ve been a victim of slander – several times. It’s embarrassing, hurtful and for some can lead to depression and suicide. However, I have also received much encouragement and appreciation, which has helped me stay focused on my mission.
Several friends recently told me that Facebook is causing our country to become ME-focused. I have also never liked the term “selfie.” So much time is being spent on posting things that have little to no meaning or are simply posted to impress others. Time that could be spent on actually doing something to help another in need like making a meal for a neighbor or reading a book to your kids.
Recently I’ve felt left out and sad when friends posted photos having a great time together and I wasn’t there. Then I wonder if I’m making anyone else feel left out as well. People don’t intend on making people feel left out but we perceive it that way. Seriously, this had to stop! There are times when guilt would hit when I click on a simple “like” button when a card or phone call would have been more meaningful. The ease of liking a comment has eliminated the personal connection. Because we spend so much time in social media, our identities can quickly become wrapped up in how many “friends” we have or how many “likes” we get. Before Facebook, I didn’t even question what people thought of me – I just lived life.
All of this questioning made me realize I needed to be using Facebook for exactly what I intended. To share knowledge and learn from others at the same time. When huge fights break out on posts I see online, it makes me sad. Our intent should never be to divide, but to hear people’s thoughts on a subject and to grow and learn in the process. I miss the days of a good debate where everyone’s ideas were acknowledged and respected. Change will only happen when respect is given.
Should YOU ditch your Facebook account? Is it causing you to feel left out or depressed? Is it a place you use to share knowledge and help others? Is your identity too wrapped up in your online life? Daily let’s strive to look at the reason we post and how we can make a positive difference using social media.
Question: What do you think are the pros and cons of social media? You can leave a comment by clicking here.
LauriePosted at 21:33h, 05 October
I decided to keep my Facebook account for one reason. I want to be a positive influence to friends and family, especially some of my nieces and nephews with whom I have no other regular contact. They don’t ask my advice or listen to me, but I figure that if I am a good role model and post positive, uplifting things with life lessons, the are getting the message in a non-threatening way. And so I keep it. It’s becoming more and more irrelevant to me though. I recently unfriended about half of my “friends.” No one noticed. And that suits me just fine.
TinaPosted at 15:23h, 04 January
So true! I need to post mostly positive as well. Great advice. I put in some of the shocking things going on, but hardly any good stories are told that come out of Hollywood. Good spin on what you said above.
I’ve also realized how big of a time waster it can be. I want to just post and get off 🙂 If you’d unfriend me, BTW I’d be calling in minutes 🙂
Jena RicePosted at 21:46h, 05 October
I understand what you are saying in regards to facebook. It seems that if I want a relationship of any kind I must be willing to text or post for the world to see on facebook. Where did the occasional phone calls go? Where did the get togethers go? It seems we are sociable anti-socials. I fought it for while and then gave in just to keep in touch. However, I then said, “Wait a minute! I need to stand my ground.” So, I don’t post my life on facebook. I post positive or spiritual truths on facebook. If someone doesn’t like it I delete their comment. If someone doesn’t want to actually call me or visit with me perhaps they aren’t the friend I need. I do have to fight the urge to be on facebook to often just to have that false sense of connection. But I have something to say. When I have spent time in the word or in prayer I have something to share. Jesus told us that many would not like what we say. They would slander us. They would scream at us or call us names. In other words they would hate us. So in regards to your question of whether you should stay on facebook or not – well – what does God want? It’s not up to us as to whether you should voice the truth via facebook. But is it part of the Lord’s plan for your ministry? If so, then what you suffer is persecution and no matter what venue you work in you will suffer that.
TinaPosted at 15:26h, 04 January
Great insight Jena. It’s the purpose behind WHY a person posts what they post that matters. Negative feelings can come from the wrong assumptions just by seeing a photo online. We know why we do what we do. The bummer is that if we post things online sometimes, it gets interpreted the wrong way or starts a debate or attack. Love what you post. Keep up the great work!
Ron ShankPosted at 07:57h, 06 October
Great discussion, Tina.
It seems to me that Facebook is the messenger in this discussion. What I’ve done is mute some of my negative friends. Not defriend them, because people take it too personally and I’m not trying to hurt people. I know I’ve recently made sure I like more positive and thought-leader discussions. Facebook tries to feed you what you want. Like and comment with intention. Hide the drama. Oh and read more books from great leaders. BTW: If you want to follow me on Facebook, feel free. But leave the drama. 😉
TinaPosted at 15:28h, 04 January
I’ve done what you suggested and deleted more people’s feeds that seemed to not have much substance and the ones that posted every 15 seconds 🙂 Great reminder on liking and commenting with intention! I hate drama too! Yay! Have a great New Year!
LeePosted at 12:42h, 06 October
good to hear from you!
i don’t know about facebook. i have an account,
but i’m never there. the peeps on the “book” it
seems, generally speaking, are more interested
in personal things than the burning issues of the
day. i’ll take the issues, thanx. i’m not interested
in advertising my personal habits. doesn’t turn
me on, y’know?
i hang out on twitter. you might be there, too.
i should look you up. but that’s where it’s at for
take care, kiddo!
TinaPosted at 15:29h, 09 October
I have the same thoughts as you Lee! Keep pluggin’ away in LA! What projects have you been working on out there?
Ashlie StitesPosted at 06:58h, 07 October
You are spot-on! I frequently don’t comment on many posts because I’m afraid of starting an argument and I HATE conflict. Therefore, I just scroll through, look at pictures and comments and occasionally “like” a post or two. I also don’t accept friend requests from people I don’t know well because I don’t want excessive gossip going around about me. I know that a lot of people use Facebook just to spy or start gossip about people and I think that would be a horrible way to live life. I have felt convicted in the past about getting rid of my Facebook account but I have never actually done it. Why? Because I LOVE sharing pictures of my beautiful family and it seems like that’s the most positive thing I can post to put a smile on someone else’s face. However, I also feel that it takes up too much of my time that I could be playing outside with my kids, reading, praying or doing something more productive. Since I’ve questioned the importance of my Facebook page in the past, I think a “Facebook Fast” would help me determine if it’s important enough to keep. Maybe the same for you!
TinaPosted at 15:31h, 09 October
We think too much alike 🙂 I don’t know if I can do a “facebook fast” but I’m open to it! At least I’ll get to see your cute kiddos in person if I don’t get an update online! Thank you for your input and I totally agree. Too much living life through the computer screen and not living life with the kids in front of me! Ok…time to get off the computer! Love you friend 🙂
Janet DabbsPosted at 12:29h, 12 October
Facebook is a tool that God is using to educate and edify believers, and win the lost. There probably should be education on FACEBOOK etiquette. Like don’t air your dirty laundry —- or anyone else s. Bashing a brother or sister in the name of debate is wrong. It is still gossip and it is still slander, no matter what name you place it under. God HATES gossip. God also HATES people who spread discord among the brethren. If someone wants to discuss a doctrine and hold it up against scripture that is something quite different. We should love our brothers and sisters in Christ regardless of how their opinions differ from ours. Mature Christians should realize that when they slander a Christian leader it most likely won’t hurt them, but it will hurt baby Christians and non-believers who are always watching and listening and you can be sure satin will bring the ugly to their attention. They will know we are Christians by our love we have for one another. Are your words filled with love for that person you are defaming? No. I think not.
TinaPosted at 15:37h, 15 October
I definitely agree. There are issues with Facebook etiquette. I’ve been a victim of that about a year ago now, and I’m glad that’s over :/ And I’ve been misinterpreted a time or two…or three. However, I agree with what you are saying. The other issue, as in texting, is that it’s hard to know how a person is saying what they are saying and their true meaning seeing it’s not face to face. So many things have been misinterpreted because people assume the opposite of what the sender actually meant. Face to face is always best for anything beyond (here’s a photo of my baby) 🙂 Hard to do in today’s tech saturated world.
EricaPosted at 10:39h, 06 January
I have a love hate relationship with the book. I take Facebreaks every so often to regroup. Jason doesn’t like it at all and wishes I would get off of it. He thinks it belongs to the devil. It’s a hard thing. I have always been a very content person so I don’t ever get upset by the fun things people are doing, trips, or new cars, instead, I get aggravated about the brass pair that everyone seems to get the day they open a Facebook account.
People are happy go lucky, liking this, commenting on that, and then the second someone disagrees with one of their views then all heck breaks loose. People are too comfortable typing words they would never dare say. I think as this article circulates more and more you will find most people have a love – hate relationship with it. I also think it is one of the newer addictions out there. I have never had what I thought was an addictive personality so it caught me when I never was expecting it!
TinaPosted at 10:40h, 06 January
I can totally see what you’re talking about here! Some days I love sharing information and then some days I start to get agitated. Maybe those days I don’t feel too good emotionally for whatever reason while I’m on Facebook means it’s time for a FAST! thank you for the AAAAA HHHHHAAAAA moment 🙂
And it CAN become addicting, which I really didn’t think I was that type of person. Wow, our technology saturated world can greatly change the way do and view life! Trying to keep my eyes wide open! Great thoughts girl!
Janet DabbsPosted at 20:06h, 28 March
Facebook is a wonderful medium for staying in touch with friends you never get to see. It is also a great way to keep people informed on important topics and events. If someone feels jealous, guilty, depressed or suicidal it goes much deeper than a Facebook post, and they need to seek counsel from a trusted pastor. As for debates, people need to be able to express themselves honestly without people taking offense.
TinaPosted at 09:09h, 30 March
So true on every level! Thank you for your thoughts on this topic! Sometimes I forget that just because people might not comment on something I post, doesn’t mean they didn’t see it or read it. There are a lot of times I read some other post without commenting. I get in my head sometimes thinking people don’t see it so why bother, which is NOT the right way of looking at it! Thanks for a reminder on this! I SO AGREE with your debate comment! I hope everyone can read each other’s views on things and maybe get a new perspective on an issue. I certainly have lately and will continue to grow in this area. As we get older we see things differently on a daily basis, don’t we 🙂 Thank you for your never ending support!