Holidays/Resources/Biblical Perspective
By Summer Lane
Photo: Deposit
From chocolate hearts and bouquets of red roses to candlelight dinners and declarations of love, Valentine’s Day takes on a different meaning to different people in all different stages of life.
As a child, Valentine’s Day was a celebration of my love for my family. I’d busily make hand-drawn valentines for my parents and grandparents and siblings, carefully gluing paper doilies together, sprinkling glitter, and choosing the perfect colors. I remember the fun and excitement of receiving candy from my mom, and from my grandfather, who would always thoughtfully give me some kind of candy or teddy bear on Valentine’s Day. It was a cute and meaningful tradition that we all shared, and that’s all it was – cute, fun, and optimistic.
Later, as a teen, I went through a phase where I hated Valentine’s Day. To me, it represented a type of romantic love that I believed, as a troubled and self-deprecating teenager, I would never have. I would ignore the day, bury myself in a book, and pen some kind of gothic-themed literary reflection to declare my insecurity-driven hatred of the holiday that I believed oppressed me.
I was very dramatic.
By the time I was in my 20s, I was indifferent to Valentine’s Day. It was just a marketing ploy, in my opinion. A capitalistic mechanism to sell ridiculous amounts of candies and chocolates, and flowers. And yet, throughout my late teens and my early 20s, I was dating someone who would become my husband, and being with him softened me up to the idea of accepting Valentine’s Day as a calendar date.
Over the years of dating, marriage, and parenting that have flown by, I have spent more time reflecting on the secularized vision of what love and romance should be – the vision of love that is pushed in culture, in marketing, and generally worldwide.
In the movies, love is a feeling, linked to hookup culture and serial dating or sex. But God’s vision for love is different. Agape – sacrificial love – is the hallmark of love for the Christian. The giving of love – the choice to love – without an expectation that it will be returned. In so many cases, love may start with simple physical attraction between two people, but it’s so much more than that! Love is a lifestyle, and it can be applied to everyone in our lives, whether they are a romantic partner or not:
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Cor. 13:4-7)
Love is a CHOICE. Many married couples who withstood years of hardships will echo this sentiment. Sometimes, the trials of life will rob you of the “romantic” feelings of love. At that point, it’s about choosing to love. Choosing to sacrifice for someone else. It’s the kind of Christlike love that the Lord modeled for us on the cross.
Love is the spring from which all life flows. Jesus confirms this in Matthew 22:36-40, when He is asked what is the greatest commandment. He answered, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ And the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
Love for God comes first, and from it, our lives are centered and whole. Secular, godless love will only get us so far. God-centered love is a foundation on which to build a life, to build a marriage, to build a family, and to build a Christ-like legacy.
This Valentine’s Day, don’t get too swept up in the cultural messages about what love means. There’s nothing wrong with a bouquet of flowers or a box of chocolates, but remember, God’s love is so much deeper and so much better than anything the world has to offer. It is a guiding light in how we love our spouses, how we love our families, and how we love our friends and serve our communities.
A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. (John 13:34)
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Summer Lane is the #1 bestselling author of 30 books, including the hit Collapse Series and Resurrection Series. She is an experienced journalist and editor who is covering the White House and Trump administration. She owns Write Revolution News.
Summer is also a mom and wife who enjoys rural country living, herding cats, and gardening. She is passionate about writing on women’s issues, parenting, and politics from a theologically-grounded perspective that points readers to the good news of the gospel.
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